Sometimes it seems like making it "FaceBook Official" is the easiest way to go....
Have you ever had those conversations that you wish you could run away from? You know, the awkward ones that are awkward not just because you are uncomfortable, but because the mere nature of the topic is uncomfortable.
Divorce is one of those topics.
I can honestly say that going through a divorce is not something I advertise about myself. I have a lot of things going on in my life, and I have a lot of interesting things about me, but "I'm getting divorced" isn't one of those sentences that I really love saying – even though I am extremely relieved by the fact that it is happening.
Have you ever asked someone about a parent, only to learn that they passed? The way the person feels when they unknowingly bring up a deceased parent seems to be the same way a person feels when they mention your husband, without knowing that you are getting divorced. There is a difference though...
When someone asks about my dad (who passed away two years ago), the awkward moment is generally one sided and doesn't last long. It doesn't lead to more questions. No one makes me dive into it by asking what happened. There's an "Oh I'm so sorry!" and then we move on. In divorce, no one just stops at "Oh, I'm so sorry!" It is, 95% of the time, followed with "What happened?!" And honestly, I can only think of a handful of people who have asked me that question who really wanted the real answer.
Let's be serious. The answer isn't pretty and people either don't believe it, or they are in such disbelief that they ask even more ridiculous questions. The worst ones? When they ask for details and insert their opinions of whether or not the situation was bad enough to warrant divorce, or worse yet, the term 'domestic violence'.
Here's a little advice. Domestic Violence is Domestic Violence. It doesn't have a scale. There isn't good and bad Domestic Violence. Put yourself or your daughter in someone else's shoes. What would be acceptable in your brain?
I'm tired of the concept that a hit isn't a punch, and a push isn't a hit. Is grabbing someone's throat better than a full choke out? This isn't just education for others - this has been educational for me too.
When you're in a relationship like that, you don't stay because you know it's wrong. You stay because you think it's maybe not so bad, it could be worse, or you're terrified of making it worse. What a novel concept to have someone look me in the eye and earnestly say, "What you experienced is not acceptable or normal behavior. It should not happen in relationships. Not even once."